Oh MY GOD, Becky! Look at THIS research!

What pops in your head when you read the phrase "research from the University of Oxford indicates..."?  Probably an image of some stodgy old English guy in glasses with a pipe expounding on some esoteric interpretation of a newly discovered manuscript on life in Lower Uncton? What if the phrase finished that with "...that women with big butts are healthier and smarter"?  

That's right, dear readers, some English dudes apparently got a grant from the Sir Mix-A-Lot School of Public Health to evaluate badonkadonks.  What they found was that those who are little in the middle and got much back have lower cholesterol, are less likely to get diabetes, have fewer heart problems and are more likely to produce hormones that help metabolize sugar.  Apparently butt fat helps the body while belly fat has the opposite effect.  In addition, that juicy rump is home to high levels of Omega-3 fatty acids which stimulate brain development, so dat ass is like a super charger for her brain.

So next time you're telling some girl to back that ass up, consider the fact that she's also probably capable of backing up her position on a subject with facts and a well reasoned explanation. That's just hella HOT.  I'm going to just assume that Marie Curie, Rosalind Franklin and Ada Lovelace all had more junk in their trunk than I do in my car...but had to hide it under their labcoats.

Just in case you're the type of person to question the validity of this ground breaking research just remember that when it comes to big butts, I cannot lie.

Okay, technically this study was not specifically about the ladies, it applies to both sexes but I'm not interested in blogging about dudes' backsides.

Paper summary

lower levels of cholesterol and are more likely to produce hormones to metabolize sugar. Having a big butt requires an excess of Omega 3 fats, which have been proven to catalyze brain development
Read more at http://www.universityherald.com/articles/5306/20131031/women-with-big-butts-are-smarter-and-resistant-to-chronic-illnesses.htm#4KB14HS4355tA5C0.99

lower levels of cholesterol and are more likely to produce hormones to metabolize sugar. Having a big butt requires an excess of Omega 3 fats, which have been proven to catalyze brain development
Read more at http://www.universityherald.com/articles/5306/20131031/women-with-big-butts-are-smarter-and-resistant-to-chronic-illnesses.htm#4KB14HS4355tA5C0.99

lower levels of cholesterol and are more likely to produce hormones to metabolize sugar. Having a big butt requires an excess of Omega 3 fats, which have been proven to catalyze brain development
Read more at http://www.universityherald.com/articles/5306/20131031/women-with-big-butts-are-smarter-and-resistant-to-chronic-illnesses.htm#4KB14HS4355tA5C0.99

Show Me the [Research] Money!

"...data are consistent with the possibility that semen may antagonize depressive symptoms and evidence which shows that the vagina absorbs a number of components of semen that can be detected in the bloodstream within a few hours of administration."[1]

Dudes, seriously?!? Can you PLEASE share your secrets with us??? HTF does one write a grant proposal for some of these studies coming out?  WHO funds them? The John Holmes Foundation???

As I'm currently suffering from an attack of the ladybrain (which will be scientifically detailed in a future post), I'm trying to find every possible means to direct this surge of energy into creative outlets instead of checking my phone every 3 minutes and/or listening to the untruths the ladybrain whispers in my ear, such as "maybe you should call Verizon just to make sure your phone is working?" or "maybe he crashed his bike and that is why he hasn't texted back?"  MAKE IT STOP!

Since we're on the topic of the "internal voice," I've been reading up on this claim made by two researchers at New York State University in Albany in which they postulate that semen acts as an antidepressant in females.  AGAIN, how does one receive money to do this research???  Is it over cocktails at a nerd conference??? 

#d-bag1: Hey dude, my gurl isn't putting out and I'm soooo allergic to condoms...I wonder if SCIENCE can help me out???

#d-bag2: Oh, I heard the John Holmes Foundation has money earmarked for studies in female manipulation.  Maybe we can connect depression to a woman's lack of semen uptake?

#d-bag1: Whoa dude...why don't they let us drink these jager-bombs in the lab???

Initially, I pulled out some dusty text books and scoured the interwebs to refresh my memory (ie, learn for the very first time) how to develop a null hypothesis and do chi-squared, t- and p-tests to PROVE these douchebags wrong on a MATHEMATICAL level. But, then I got lazy (read: confused), and realized that they already gave me the ammunition I needed right in the paper.

This is YET another example of how journalists read merely the abstract of a scientific study and not the DISCUSSION section which includes all the CAVEATS...you know, the part where the scientists admit how their research project sucked and suggestions for the next set of researchers to design a better study.  These CAVEATS include:

• "Although our findings raise more questions than they answer...."
• "It is important to acknowledge that these data are preliminary and correlational in nature, and as such are only suggestive."
• "More definitive evidence for antidepressant effects of semen would require more direct manipulation of the presence of semen in the reproductive tract and, ideally the measurement of seminal components in the recipient's blood."

Oh, HOLD THE PHONE! Actually, journalists don't even read past the TITLE, as this is the headliner for a post I saw online...

"Oral sex is good for women's health and makes you feel happier, according to a study which studied the effects of semen's 'mood-altering chemicals.'"

 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2190863/Semen-good-womens-health-helps-fight-depression.html#ixzz2koWMUGWA 

And yet, the researchers CLEARLY STATE (albeit on the last page)...

"It would be interesting to investigate the possible antidepressant effects of oral ingestion of semen, or semen applied through anal intercourse (or both) among both heterosexual couples as well as homosexual males."

So in short, journalists rarely research the actual source and just end up rebranding someone else's poorly researched as their won.   Also, the most bizarre research always seems to be in the medical field.  Hence the conception (no pun intended) of this blog...bringing the people INTERESTING and HUMOROUS science stories without the JAGER-BOMBED uninformed reporting.

_____________

[1] Gallup, G; Burch, R; Platek, S (2002) Does Semen Have Antidepressant Properties? Archives of Sexual Behavior 31(1): 289-293.

Dead Dudes I'd Like to Date: Prologue

Seriously! Why didn't anyone tell me that anthropology wasn't all Indiana Jones, Tomb Raider and droopy boobs??? Get paid to hang out with bearded dudes? SIGN THIS GURL UP.

Lately, I've had to defend my propensity for the highly decorated male half-species.  Decorated as in beard, tattoos and glasses.  Maybe its because I like the bad boys with a side of intelligence. Maybe because there is no real right-of-passage for Western men. Or maybe its just EVOLUTIONARY SCIENCE bitches!

"Understanding is a lot like sex; it's got a practical purpose, but 

that's not why people do it normally." -Frank Oppenheimer

These dudes in Australia (already HOT!) showed about 400 women photos of men in various stages of beardedness (yes, this is a goddamn word, it was published in a scientific journal), from clean shaven all the way to 10 days growth[1].  Oh, these dudes were wicked smart because they also tracked the variable of the women's menstruation cycle.

Low-and-behold, the female participants chose the heavy bearded photos as the most attractive. Women in the "fertile phase" of the menstrual cycle were absconding to the restroom with the beard photos.  These results confirm the researchers' findings that beardedness impacts "male socio-sexual attributes" judgement by females, and that these glorious full-bearded individuals may be perceived as "better fathers who could protect and invest in offspring."

Obviously, the researches didn't expand their study to my four-prong vignette above.  I'll include my newly acquired Minnesotan vernacular to explain:

• Clean-Shaven Gosling: Hey 'der
• Bearded Gosling: Fer shure
• Tatted Gosling: You betcha
• Bearded-Bespectacled-Inked Gosling: HOT DISH!

Now that you kiddos have been introduced to this basic evolutionary concept, stay tuned for the next edition of Dead Dudes I'd Like to Date.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

[1] Dixson,B; Brooks, R (May 2013) The role of facial hair in women's perceptions of men's attractiveness, health, masculinity and parenting abilities. Evolution and Human Behavior. 34:3; 236-241.

[2] Ryan, C; Jetha, C (2012) Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships. Harper Perennial.

This guy...is awesome

So I haven't written a blog post in like forever, not necessarily because there hasn't been anything cool or funny happening in the world of science, but more because I have ADD and got distracted by other shiny objects.

I'm breaking back in with this video by awesome guy Thomas Blaise who composed this amazing cover of one of my favorite songs, Queen's magnum opus Bohemian Rhapsody,  as part of his Master's Thesis to explain string theory.  You don't even need to understand what he's talkng about to appreciate the effort that went into it so here you go:

PS- Thanks to Miriam Glaser Heston for posting it on Facebook so that I could have something awesome enough to get me off my ass and back on the blog.

I have also been warned that there may finally be another installment of "Dead Dudes I'd Like to Date" coming out soon. STOKED!

Life imitating art - Happy Valentine's Day!

Courtesy of sciencenews.org

Sea slug carries disposable penis, plus spares 

By Susan Milius

Web edition: February 12, 2013

A bristly hermaphroditic sea slug mates employing a use-it-then-lose-it penis, and carries one or two extras for future use, researchers have discovered.

Some 20 minutes after copulating, the still-stretched-out penis of a Chromodoris reticulata sea slug “just falls off,” says evolutionary biologist Ayami Sekizawa of Osaka City University in Japan. The sea slug then cannot mate for a matter of hours. But when researchers waited 24 hours to offer the slug a second partner, a backup organ segment appeared in place of the discard, she and her colleagues report February 13 in Biology Letters.

“New tissue emerges like lead in a mechanical pencil,” Sekizawa says.

The source of that emerging lead turned out to be lengths of spare penis tissue coiled in reserve below the currently operative segment, Sekizawa found in studying tissue samples under a microscope. Given a little time between matings, the sea slug can essentially advance the pencil lead to extend three usable sections before having to replenish the reserves by regrowing the whole structure.

A detachable penis may be especially useful when animals compete with other potential fathers. On the surfaces of used slug penises, Sekizawa found abundant backward-pointing barbs, some of which had snagged masses of sperm. She and her colleagues propose that the barbed surface scours out sperm from a previous mating partner. But the same scouring barbs may make the penis difficult to retract, and all in all easier to simply discard.

A string of three “tear-off” penises is how Janet Leonard of the University of California, Santa Cruz describes the sea slug’s genitalia. The banana slugs she studies, of the genus Ariolimax, also part with genitals but in a different way. “On rare occasions, an Ariolimax acting as a female — these are hermaphrodites — will chew off its partner's penis, a process caused apophallation,” she says. “On even rarer occasions an Ariolimax will chew off its own penis.” Yet these events are rare, so the report of sea slugs’ routine genital disposal with back-ups is unique, as far as she knows, and “quite exciting,” Leonard says.

Sekizawa and her colleagues got the first hint of the Chromodoris detachable penis when they noticed a sea slug with a truncated organ during an earlier experiment. Watching 31 matings, the researchers determined that each slug extends its penis into the reproductive tract of the other, with mutual sperm delivery lasting nine minutes on average. As the slugs disengage, they each crawl around, penis extended. Finally the penis, with no preliminary shrinking or pinching inward, simply detaches.
Several evolutionary paths could lead to detachable penises, says evolutionary ecologist Nico Michiels  of the University of Tübingen in Germany. In many species, a male plugs the female reproductive tract and stymies a rival, at least temporarily, Michiels says. An abandoned penis could certainly serve as a plug.

Also, a left-behind penis could autonomously inject sperm after the donor flees the dangers or constraints of more-intimate mating. “Not as wild as it sounds,” Michiels says. “Male bees have their whole male copulatory system ripped out during copulation, and it continues to pump sperm into the queen even after the male has gone to die.”

Courtesy of King Missile

That's no moon!!!

As you may be aware the White House has an official petition site where citizens can submit petitions for anything they feel like.  Some are serious, some not so much. A few months ago a petition was started demanding that the US invest in building a Death Star...which of course seems perfectly reasonable.  The petition got 34,000+ signatures putting into the realm where the White House issues a formal response.

Here is the OFFICIAL response from 1600 Penn.  Well played government, well played.

"Official White House Response to: Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.

This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For

By Paul Shawcross
The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

However, look carefully (here's how) and you'll notice something already floating in the sky -- that's no Moon, it's a Space Station! Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that's helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations. The Space Station has six astronauts -- American, Russian, and Canadian -- living in it right now, conducting research, learning how to live and work in space over long periods of time, routinely welcoming visiting spacecraft and repairing onboard garbage mashers, etc. We've also got two robot science labs -- one wielding a laser -- roving around Mars, looking at whether life ever existed on the Red Planet.

Keep in mind, space is no longer just government-only. Private American companies, through NASA's Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (C3PO), are ferrying cargo -- and soon, crew -- to space for NASA, and are pursuing human missions to the Moon this decade.

Even though the United States doesn't have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we've got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we're building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun. We are discovering hundreds of new planets in other star systems and building a much more powerful successor to the Hubble Space Telescope that will see back to the early days of the universe.

We don't have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke's arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.

We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field. The President has held the first-ever White House science fairs and Astronomy Night on the South Lawn because he knows these domains are critical to our country's future, and to ensuring the United States continues leading the world in doing big things.

If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force."

Paul Shawcross is Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget

Newsflash! Facebook saves science!!!

Okay, so maybe that's a bit of an over-dramatization but the reality is that 2012 was a great year for science gaining a more public face through the use of social media. 

I've already talked ad nauseum about my fandom of the @SarcasticRover Twitter feed but there are tons of other great Tweeters out there too.  The @MarsCuriosity account is a nonsarcastic view of what our new favorite robot is up to and you can follow along Curiosity's driver @Matt_Heverly as well.  Bill Nye the @ScienceGuy and @neiltyson (Neil DeGrasse Tyson), arguably the two most media visible scientists out there, are regular Tweeters.  My new personal favorite is Canadian Astronaut @Cdr_Hadfield who is currently Tweeting from the International Space Station and basically giving a blow by blow account of what it's like to live and work in space along with some phenomenal pictures.

Facebook has been another science success story with the shockingly popular I Fucking Love Science page.  This page is run by a young lady finishing up her PhD and currently has 2.3 MILLION followers.  It's a treasure trove of science tid-bits presented pretty much entirely as photos with links to articles, cartoons and science memes.  It's silly, sarcastic and fun.  Some of my other favorite Facebook science pages include Science Cosmos, NASA (duh), and Star Talk Radio.  I clearly lean towards the space side of things but all of the sciences have pages with large numbers of followers on them.  Hell, even the Higgs Boson has it's own page; just don't call it the God Particle....physicists hate that.  Science and attractive biologist merge to create Dr. Carin Bondar - Biologist With a Twist.

 Youtube has been in the mix as well with 52 million people streaming Felix Baumgartner’s supersonic sky dive from space.  There's probably some Instragram science stuff as well but since my daughter constantly points out that I use it wrong since I pretty much just use it to make it look like I can take a decent picture I'm not really sure.

So what does it all mean?   If nothing else it means that people are interested in science and possibly more importantly that science is finding a way to make itself known to them.  Not very many people are willing to sit down and read a paper in a peer reviewed journal (I don't even like doing it) but there are now ways for cool stuff to be made public in an easily understood and interesting format. 

As an example of how important it is to write science journalism in a plain understandable manner take a look at these two articles about physicists creating a gas capable of going below absolute zero.  First this one from Livescience, a normally pretty good place to get science news.  Pretty fucking hard to follow, huh?  Then from this one from the journal Nature, linked to by I Fucking Love Science.  Makes a lot mores sense now doesn't it?

Happy New Year science, go forth and do amazing things!