That's no moon!!!

As you may be aware the White House has an official petition site where citizens can submit petitions for anything they feel like.  Some are serious, some not so much. A few months ago a petition was started demanding that the US invest in building a Death Star...which of course seems perfectly reasonable.  The petition got 34,000+ signatures putting into the realm where the White House issues a formal response.

Here is the OFFICIAL response from 1600 Penn.  Well played government, well played.

"Official White House Response to: Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.

This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For

By Paul Shawcross
The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

However, look carefully (here's how) and you'll notice something already floating in the sky -- that's no Moon, it's a Space Station! Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that's helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations. The Space Station has six astronauts -- American, Russian, and Canadian -- living in it right now, conducting research, learning how to live and work in space over long periods of time, routinely welcoming visiting spacecraft and repairing onboard garbage mashers, etc. We've also got two robot science labs -- one wielding a laser -- roving around Mars, looking at whether life ever existed on the Red Planet.

Keep in mind, space is no longer just government-only. Private American companies, through NASA's Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (C3PO), are ferrying cargo -- and soon, crew -- to space for NASA, and are pursuing human missions to the Moon this decade.

Even though the United States doesn't have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we've got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we're building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun. We are discovering hundreds of new planets in other star systems and building a much more powerful successor to the Hubble Space Telescope that will see back to the early days of the universe.

We don't have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke's arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.

We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field. The President has held the first-ever White House science fairs and Astronomy Night on the South Lawn because he knows these domains are critical to our country's future, and to ensuring the United States continues leading the world in doing big things.

If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force."

Paul Shawcross is Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget

Newsflash! Facebook saves science!!!

Okay, so maybe that's a bit of an over-dramatization but the reality is that 2012 was a great year for science gaining a more public face through the use of social media. 

I've already talked ad nauseum about my fandom of the @SarcasticRover Twitter feed but there are tons of other great Tweeters out there too.  The @MarsCuriosity account is a nonsarcastic view of what our new favorite robot is up to and you can follow along Curiosity's driver @Matt_Heverly as well.  Bill Nye the @ScienceGuy and @neiltyson (Neil DeGrasse Tyson), arguably the two most media visible scientists out there, are regular Tweeters.  My new personal favorite is Canadian Astronaut @Cdr_Hadfield who is currently Tweeting from the International Space Station and basically giving a blow by blow account of what it's like to live and work in space along with some phenomenal pictures.

Facebook has been another science success story with the shockingly popular I Fucking Love Science page.  This page is run by a young lady finishing up her PhD and currently has 2.3 MILLION followers.  It's a treasure trove of science tid-bits presented pretty much entirely as photos with links to articles, cartoons and science memes.  It's silly, sarcastic and fun.  Some of my other favorite Facebook science pages include Science Cosmos, NASA (duh), and Star Talk Radio.  I clearly lean towards the space side of things but all of the sciences have pages with large numbers of followers on them.  Hell, even the Higgs Boson has it's own page; just don't call it the God Particle....physicists hate that.  Science and attractive biologist merge to create Dr. Carin Bondar - Biologist With a Twist.

 Youtube has been in the mix as well with 52 million people streaming Felix Baumgartner’s supersonic sky dive from space.  There's probably some Instragram science stuff as well but since my daughter constantly points out that I use it wrong since I pretty much just use it to make it look like I can take a decent picture I'm not really sure.

So what does it all mean?   If nothing else it means that people are interested in science and possibly more importantly that science is finding a way to make itself known to them.  Not very many people are willing to sit down and read a paper in a peer reviewed journal (I don't even like doing it) but there are now ways for cool stuff to be made public in an easily understood and interesting format. 

As an example of how important it is to write science journalism in a plain understandable manner take a look at these two articles about physicists creating a gas capable of going below absolute zero.  First this one from Livescience, a normally pretty good place to get science news.  Pretty fucking hard to follow, huh?  Then from this one from the journal Nature, linked to by I Fucking Love Science.  Makes a lot mores sense now doesn't it?

Happy New Year science, go forth and do amazing things!

An interview with @SarcasticRover

As proof that it never hurts to ask, I had the pleasure of getting to interview my favorite Twitter personality @SarcasticRover.  So here's some insight into the worlds snarkiest interplanetary explorer. 

No indication where the sarcasm module is located

Star Wars or Star Trek?

I like both Star Wars and Star Trek but if I had to choose I'd say Star Wars. [I'd like to think it's due to the importance of robots in Star Wars]

If you could have another robot up there to keep you company which would it be?

I'd have to say that one would have to be made in the future just like NASA is planning for the next decade.

You seem to be the only girl who doesn’t make a duck face in your self portrait, what’s up with that?

I don't make a duck face in my self portrait because they quack too much, I like swans.

If a vampire bites a zombie, who gets turned?

If a vampire bites a zomie then nothing would happen because zombies are already dead.

Did you always want to be a planetary scientist or did you have other dreams as a young robot, like deep sea exploration or defusing bombs?

I would have to say planetary scientist.

Who are your two favorite scientists, one human and one robot, and why?

My two favorite scientists would have to be Stephen Hawking and me, I think Steven Hawking because he just really has a great mind also he is just generally inspirational.
And me because I'm just so fucking awesome.

What did you do to keep from getting bored on your way to Mars?

Music and youtube videos, and online dating.

I stayed up late watching your entry, decent and landing.  I remember sitting in a briefing 7 years ago or so and thinking it sounded crazy.  How was it and were you worried considering some of the previous issues NASA has had with Mars missions?

No I wasn't worried at all.

Do you ever get in arguments with driver Matt Heverly about where you want to go?

I always get into arguments with Matt Heverly, who wouldn't?

Have you seen a rock that you really just wanted to laser the crap out of but weren’t allowed?

I always see rocks I want to laser the crap out of, I see one every second... typical for Martian rocks.

What’s your plan for if you encounter life?  Become a benevolent ruler?

Becoming a benevolent ruler is my top priority for being on Mars.

Do you have a favorite spot to just hang out and relax at after a hard day of doing a science?

Not really because there are always Martian storms and the hills are always really far away.

Why do think so many humans are so intimidated by science and how do you think we can fix that?

Most humans that are intimidated by science are mostly religious, and the reason why they're intimidated is because they know sooner or later science will prove god to be a lie.

Even though you’re going end up dying cold and alone on a desert planet, was it worth it?

Who says I'm going to end up dying alone? I've got my deck chair and martini.

 Hmm...a sarcastic Star Wars fan that kills time with online dating, I feel like maybe several of my friends might be Mars rovers.

Follow Sarcastic Rover on Facebook and Twitter

DO A SCIENCE!!

Astrophysics meets the Wuniverse

There's not much I can say about this other than I would have never thought I would see the GZA being interviewed by Neil Degrasse Tyson any place other than in a weird dream.  Even further proof that Wu Tang Clan aint nothin to fuck with.  The GZA is right though, rap today pretty much sucks because they're not writing intelligent rhymes.  Hell, that trifling scab Nicki Minaj "rhymes" word with themselves.  Facepalm.

Dead Dudes I'd Like to Date: Part I

Yes, sarcastic scientific ladies and gents, Ms. BetterInGlasses is going MINISERIES! Does a three-part blog count as a miniseries, you ask? Well, according to wikipedia, YES IT F@*KING DOES.

Since I have convinced myself that dudes with beards and tattoos are intimidated by my genius intelligence and my engineer-mind-like-way of emasculating them, I have started to put together my Fantasy Top-5 list of bearded dead dudes I'd like to date.  This will hold me over while I work on genetically engineering the perfect man.  Welcome to my brain, as it will be donated to science.

Dead Dudes I'd Like to Date:

Vilfredo Pareto

So, Freddy, above-and-beyond his mind-blowing beard, developed a power-law during his stint as an economist, known as "Pareto's Law."  It is also known as the 80/20 principle.  Freddy basically gave me some mathematical laws to make me efficient at being lazy. Hence, I LUV him.  I'm also hoping he smells like the 1860's version of Old Spice "Swagger" and tastes like bourbon, like all hot men with beards should.

Oh, well SORRY that I went off into a scented-fantasy tangent...didn't I just tell you I'm lazy? (I WILL be penning a topic on sex, pheromones and the MHC gene, so stay tuned!)

Good ol' Freddy observed that 80% of Italy (wine, gelato, buffalo mozzarella and all) was owned by 20% of the population.  But he based this on the the founding species of all genetics...peas! Twenty percent of his precious peapods accounted for 80% of the peas.  Again, biochemistry RULES.

However, I have implemented Pareto's Law into my own life, by realizing that putting in a strong 20% will lead to an amazing 80% of awesomeness.  And on the other hand, that 80% of the crap I do only leads to a mere 20% advantage for myself.  So, I tend to focus on the 20%, and laze about for the other 80.  This equates to one day of work, 4 hours of physical exercise and 1 hour on dating websites for me.  The rest is spent on watching Walking Dead and American Horror Story, reading books that make me sound smart for 20 minutes a month, and crafting up creatures with fimo or yarn.  That leaves ample time for drinking and sleeping.  Oh, and to think about awesome things to write on this blog.  And to genetically engineer the perfect man, whose enzymes produce good smells and tastes.

And, you may want to consider that 80% is way above average for the American citizen.  Eighty percent of 80 is 64%, and that's still above average...

Just when you thought it was safe to read the news... again...

...I read this:

http://news.yahoo.com/creationism-controversies-norm-among-potential-republican-2016-contenders-180354094--politics.html

This is the quote that set me off:
'Rubio added, "And for me, personally, I don't want a school system that teaches kids that what they're learning at home is wrong." '

So...I can teach my kids whatever I want because your school system can't contradict what I teach them? Cool. Let the fun begin:

Green is blue. Yellow is black. 2 + 2 = 5. The English alphabet only has 25 letters. Gravity is optional. You can marry your first cousin - there's no need to worry about that pesky genetic defect thing. That science they call calculus? It's complete BS. You can just make up your own math rules. The sun revolves around the earth. The Flying Spaghetti Monster has touched us all with his noodley appendage and all of those other religions are false.

Look...for the past year and a half you've bitched and moaned and thrown mud at each other and lied through your fricking teeth. You've exhibited all kinds of bat-shit-crazy behavior and spent more than the GNP of some countries to foist yourselves on the public via every means of communication known to mankind. Can you please sit down and STFU? I mean seriously? We, the American Public, deserve a bit of piece and quiet after the election. Y'all didn't take enough of a beating in the science education policy venue and you're starting the ridiculousness all over again? Holy Mother of God all y'all are morons...bless your hearts.

Image inserted by me, because everything should have a picture. kim dude

Curiosity...and it's impending historic announcement

I'm a HUGE fan of Curiosity.  It's delivery to Mars I found to be simply mind boggling.  In fact, when I first sat through a presentation on the planned landing system probably 6 or 7 years ago I thought "Are you kidding me, how the hell are they going to make that work?  There is zero room for error!".  Well, somehow they did and Curiosity has been lasering the crap out of Mars ever since.

You could actually say that that mission was what convinced me to start this blog, along with a little push from one of our contributors.  (The initial inspiration came from the Sarcastic Rover twitter feed, which is still going strong.)

The MSL science team recently made an announcement regarding a potentially "historic" find and in the last few days NASA has publicly "backtracked" saying that the announcement is not exactly earth-shattering.  The first article I read on this was on the Atlantic Wire, and frankly I found the article to be a piece of journalistic crap.  They pretty much just said NASA must be covering up something or doesn't really know what they're doing if they've had to change their take on the significance of the find.  The comments from the readers were even worse (not that the comments section of any news article is ever anything more than the area under the bridge where the trolls live).  I can't find that version of the article and oddly I have yet to see the retraction printed in any of the major news outlets or in NASA's news section on it's website but here's a link to another article on it.

Here's my take on the situation.  Every damned thing about this mission has been historic.  We've done sampling not previously possible so it should be no surprise that whatever we're finding is new to us, or at least is a verification of something we've only suspected.  The significance of any scientific finding as always going to be relative.  To an exo-planetary geochemist what is earth shattering might seem boring as shit to most people, simply because they don't really give a crap about soil chemistry.  The public is hoping we find stuff they can understand.  That doesn't mean we need to retract the importance of any particular data though.  Okay, maybe the guy got a little overzealous, but hey he's getting science data from a fucking atomic robot on another planet, how can he not get excited?!  This discovery might not make your day, but it will certainly make his.

Keep Calm and Do A Science!!