An interview with @SarcasticRover

As proof that it never hurts to ask, I had the pleasure of getting to interview my favorite Twitter personality @SarcasticRover.  So here's some insight into the worlds snarkiest interplanetary explorer. 

No indication where the sarcasm module is located

Star Wars or Star Trek?

I like both Star Wars and Star Trek but if I had to choose I'd say Star Wars. [I'd like to think it's due to the importance of robots in Star Wars]

If you could have another robot up there to keep you company which would it be?

I'd have to say that one would have to be made in the future just like NASA is planning for the next decade.

You seem to be the only girl who doesn’t make a duck face in your self portrait, what’s up with that?

I don't make a duck face in my self portrait because they quack too much, I like swans.

If a vampire bites a zombie, who gets turned?

If a vampire bites a zomie then nothing would happen because zombies are already dead.

Did you always want to be a planetary scientist or did you have other dreams as a young robot, like deep sea exploration or defusing bombs?

I would have to say planetary scientist.

Who are your two favorite scientists, one human and one robot, and why?

My two favorite scientists would have to be Stephen Hawking and me, I think Steven Hawking because he just really has a great mind also he is just generally inspirational.
And me because I'm just so fucking awesome.

What did you do to keep from getting bored on your way to Mars?

Music and youtube videos, and online dating.

I stayed up late watching your entry, decent and landing.  I remember sitting in a briefing 7 years ago or so and thinking it sounded crazy.  How was it and were you worried considering some of the previous issues NASA has had with Mars missions?

No I wasn't worried at all.

Do you ever get in arguments with driver Matt Heverly about where you want to go?

I always get into arguments with Matt Heverly, who wouldn't?

Have you seen a rock that you really just wanted to laser the crap out of but weren’t allowed?

I always see rocks I want to laser the crap out of, I see one every second... typical for Martian rocks.

What’s your plan for if you encounter life?  Become a benevolent ruler?

Becoming a benevolent ruler is my top priority for being on Mars.

Do you have a favorite spot to just hang out and relax at after a hard day of doing a science?

Not really because there are always Martian storms and the hills are always really far away.

Why do think so many humans are so intimidated by science and how do you think we can fix that?

Most humans that are intimidated by science are mostly religious, and the reason why they're intimidated is because they know sooner or later science will prove god to be a lie.

Even though you’re going end up dying cold and alone on a desert planet, was it worth it?

Who says I'm going to end up dying alone? I've got my deck chair and martini.

 Hmm...a sarcastic Star Wars fan that kills time with online dating, I feel like maybe several of my friends might be Mars rovers.

Follow Sarcastic Rover on Facebook and Twitter

DO A SCIENCE!!

Astrophysics meets the Wuniverse

There's not much I can say about this other than I would have never thought I would see the GZA being interviewed by Neil Degrasse Tyson any place other than in a weird dream.  Even further proof that Wu Tang Clan aint nothin to fuck with.  The GZA is right though, rap today pretty much sucks because they're not writing intelligent rhymes.  Hell, that trifling scab Nicki Minaj "rhymes" word with themselves.  Facepalm.

Dead Dudes I'd Like to Date: Part I

Yes, sarcastic scientific ladies and gents, Ms. BetterInGlasses is going MINISERIES! Does a three-part blog count as a miniseries, you ask? Well, according to wikipedia, YES IT F@*KING DOES.

Since I have convinced myself that dudes with beards and tattoos are intimidated by my genius intelligence and my engineer-mind-like-way of emasculating them, I have started to put together my Fantasy Top-5 list of bearded dead dudes I'd like to date.  This will hold me over while I work on genetically engineering the perfect man.  Welcome to my brain, as it will be donated to science.

Dead Dudes I'd Like to Date:

Vilfredo Pareto

So, Freddy, above-and-beyond his mind-blowing beard, developed a power-law during his stint as an economist, known as "Pareto's Law."  It is also known as the 80/20 principle.  Freddy basically gave me some mathematical laws to make me efficient at being lazy. Hence, I LUV him.  I'm also hoping he smells like the 1860's version of Old Spice "Swagger" and tastes like bourbon, like all hot men with beards should.

Oh, well SORRY that I went off into a scented-fantasy tangent...didn't I just tell you I'm lazy? (I WILL be penning a topic on sex, pheromones and the MHC gene, so stay tuned!)

Good ol' Freddy observed that 80% of Italy (wine, gelato, buffalo mozzarella and all) was owned by 20% of the population.  But he based this on the the founding species of all genetics...peas! Twenty percent of his precious peapods accounted for 80% of the peas.  Again, biochemistry RULES.

However, I have implemented Pareto's Law into my own life, by realizing that putting in a strong 20% will lead to an amazing 80% of awesomeness.  And on the other hand, that 80% of the crap I do only leads to a mere 20% advantage for myself.  So, I tend to focus on the 20%, and laze about for the other 80.  This equates to one day of work, 4 hours of physical exercise and 1 hour on dating websites for me.  The rest is spent on watching Walking Dead and American Horror Story, reading books that make me sound smart for 20 minutes a month, and crafting up creatures with fimo or yarn.  That leaves ample time for drinking and sleeping.  Oh, and to think about awesome things to write on this blog.  And to genetically engineer the perfect man, whose enzymes produce good smells and tastes.

And, you may want to consider that 80% is way above average for the American citizen.  Eighty percent of 80 is 64%, and that's still above average...

Just when you thought it was safe to read the news... again...

...I read this:

http://news.yahoo.com/creationism-controversies-norm-among-potential-republican-2016-contenders-180354094--politics.html

This is the quote that set me off:
'Rubio added, "And for me, personally, I don't want a school system that teaches kids that what they're learning at home is wrong." '

So...I can teach my kids whatever I want because your school system can't contradict what I teach them? Cool. Let the fun begin:

Green is blue. Yellow is black. 2 + 2 = 5. The English alphabet only has 25 letters. Gravity is optional. You can marry your first cousin - there's no need to worry about that pesky genetic defect thing. That science they call calculus? It's complete BS. You can just make up your own math rules. The sun revolves around the earth. The Flying Spaghetti Monster has touched us all with his noodley appendage and all of those other religions are false.

Look...for the past year and a half you've bitched and moaned and thrown mud at each other and lied through your fricking teeth. You've exhibited all kinds of bat-shit-crazy behavior and spent more than the GNP of some countries to foist yourselves on the public via every means of communication known to mankind. Can you please sit down and STFU? I mean seriously? We, the American Public, deserve a bit of piece and quiet after the election. Y'all didn't take enough of a beating in the science education policy venue and you're starting the ridiculousness all over again? Holy Mother of God all y'all are morons...bless your hearts.

Image inserted by me, because everything should have a picture. kim dude